keepsthefire | IC Contact

I still did it, though! H-how can you be okay with that-- with me after that?!

[ Please don't yell at her? Please don't, she doesn't like it when you yell. ]

You were sick, Rin ... Whatever was in the water made you lose control of yourself. I can't rightfully blame you for something I know you wouldn't have done if you had a choice in the matter ...

[He's yelling because he's upset with himself. He can't even fully sound angry just... really sad and really hurt and really <>scared that he's done something that horrible to a friend.]

Okay, yeah, it was the water this time, but-- I can't always control it, Kohaku! I can't-- what if next time you don't get away fast enough?!

[ She falls quiet for several moments. ]

... The only reason I ran away to begin with was because I had gotten sick from the water, too. It made me afraid of everything.

[ She looks up at him seriously. ]

If not for that, I wouldn't have run from you, even like that. If there's a chance I could do something to help you, I would take it.

[ She's put her life on the line to help people dear to her before. She would do it again. ]

B... but...

[No, no no she can't say things like that! Not when it involves him being the reason she winds up hurt or even dying!

He stares back, completely stunned and almost in to silence save for the noises he makes until he can find proper words again.]

Th... that's stupid!

[Spot on, Rin. Good show. ~~You Tried Star~~]

What's so stupid about giving your all to help someone you care about?!

[ Whoops, now she's yelling too. ]

Sure, maybe I'd be safer if I didn't, but it really wouldn't sit well with me if I didn't at least try to do something to help!

[ Aaaand she might be glaring a bit, too. ]

Don't lie, I know you would do the same thing if it were the other way around. Not just for me, but for anyone you really cared about.

Y... you--

[Okay now he's actually getting angry. Mostly because he doesn't see why they both need to be self-sacrificing idiots. Considering how things went with Saya the day before, too, this is just him reaching his limit with everything in this goddamn place.

His hands go up and he lets out an annoyed, frustrated, angered noise that very nearly slides in to a growl before they fall to his sides again.]

I would but at least I know I could walk away from it! I don't wanna watch anyone die and I don't wanna kill anyone least of all you!

Don't throw your life away for some one like me, Kohaku!

Someone like you? Do you realize just how important you are to some people? Do you realize just how much you're loved?!

You might not think you're important enough for someone to risk their lives to help, but there are definitely people who think of you as being important in their lives, okay?!

[ She really hadn't wanted for this to turn into an argument, but ... well, now she's too angry to think any way else. ]

[Yeah that's kinda what happens when you get angry. Irrational thoughts and words and all that.]

But I'm not! I'm the one who fucks everything up, the one who can't save anyone--! Friends don't hurt each other and I've already done that t-to you and Armin and even Saya!

I'm not some one anyone should care about cause bein' around me just ends badly for everyone eventually! I-I don't get how the fuck you can look at your arms not be so fuckin' pissed at me for what I did to you, infected water or not!

Yeah, well, guess what? I'm not pissed about that. What I am pissed about is that you're here trying to tell me how I should feel!

[ She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Must calm down ... must calm down ... ]

Look, no relationship is going to be absolutely perfect all of the time. Mistakes are going to be made. This world is also all kinds of insane, and will put us through hells that we can't even imagine most of the time. I can't speak for Armin or Saya, or anyone else ... but I know you wouldn't ever want to hurt me, or any of your friends. It just happened. There's no point in dwelling on it and what could have happened, because we've got bigger things to worry about. And if we have any hope of succeeding over those bigger things, we can't be doing that.

[ She looks pretty emotionally and physically exhausted at this point. ]

I don't want to argue with you anymore, Rin ... I didn't want to argue with you to begin with.

[She's not the only one, and luckily for her, acting calm actually makes him react in the same way. Normally he would have kept going, but he was still pretty damn exhausted, too, and had just started getting over the affects of being without food, water, sleep or shelter for almost a week.

He lets out a breath, shoulders slumping and a hand dragging through his hair.]

It still doesn't feel right to me... but I don't wanna argue either.

[ She moves forward and takes one of his hands into her own, squeezing it gently and tugging him in the direction he had pedaled in from. ]

Tell you what. You owe me dinner. Sometime. I know ingredients are kind of limited right now, but whenever we have a good selection that won't put us totally out of food for a while, you can make me dinner.

It probably won't feel like enough, but it's something.

[This isn't really her accepting his apology, but he figures with how she's talking it's the closest he's going to get. Even if it doesn't feel completely right...

But somewhere in his mind he does know that he's also being unreasonably hard on himself.]

... I was thinkin' about goin' to Foodland anyway. Not sure what I'm gonna find, but it's worth a shot.

[Yup just letting himself get pulled along.]

[ She doesn't really feel like there's anything to apologize for. Kohaku rests her head against his shoulder a bit as they walk. Come on, Rin, she's really trying here. ]

Sounds good. Hopefully you'll find something.

[He knows. And he might be blushing a little at the sudden closeness.]

Hopefully.

[He points a finger at her, though.]

You need to get home and rest, though.

[ she looks up at him with a smile, catching his blush. She laughs a little as he tells her to go home and get some rest. ]

Okay, okay. I promise, I will.

Good.

[And now... !

... awkward quiet.]

[ ... yep, this just got awkward.

she'll just keep walking closely with him. they have a pretty long journey ahead of them. ]

[Yeah, they do. And he has no idea what to talk about now that they've argued.]

[ .... ]

Have you gotten any rest?

Huh? Oh. Yeah. I slept for... I'unno had to be a coupla days? Some one dragged me outta the forest when I was still pretty bad off and Yukio found me later. I still don't feel great but he says I'll get over it eventually.

... bein' like, actually sick is... weird.

You don't get sick all that often, do you?

[ Must be those demon genes of his. ]

Mhmn. Yukio was always the one gettin' colds and whatever was goin' around the school. Half the class could be out and even the teacher and I'd be fine...

[He sighs a little, putting his hand up to scratch at his ear]

Even before I knew what I was, I had a lotta things about me that weren't... normal.

Yeah, well, normal is overrated anyway. I'm definitely not normal by any means, and I really wouldn't have it any other way.

[ She smiles at him. It might not make him feel any better, but it's ... encouraging? ]

[Unfortunately it... doesn't. And it shows on his face.]

People hated me, Kohaku. They were afraid of me. I was seven years old and teachers and other kids were callin' me a "demon child".

I haven't met a person yet who had to grow up the way I did.

IC Contact | The Box

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