[It takes him a little while to puzzle this out. His phone woke him up, he's not exactly running on all pistons and even when he is he's not... the brightest bulb in the Box.
But after a bit he finally does piece things together and--
[And he really didn't. After he hauled himself back to the mill, he curled up where everyone slept and buried his face in one of Reiner's shirts as if smelling him would bring him back. As if everything was just a bad dream and he'd wake up with his face tucked into Reiner's side.
[Now that Rin knew Bert had been there at all, he felt bad. His attention had been on Armin and Armin alone (though he had seen Reiner's name) and getting him back to the Exorcist House where he didn't have to be alone.
He hadn't thought to stay and look for Bert...
That Bert had even contacted him at all...
Fuck, the whole situation was so messed up.]
armin is here
at my house with me
i brought him here hes not doing well either but i wasnt gonna let him be alone
i know you two don't |
i know you two arent exactly friends but you shouldn't be alone either
[Well that's... moving forward at least, but still.]
do you relaly think you can stay ther ealone?
[there's actually a break between that message and the next, because he's trying desperately (and uselessly) to keep his own upset in check. He doesn't want to shove Bert away by being angry but lately, outside of his own numbness at the things he's done and witnessed recently, all he can feel is a dull anger at everyone and everything.
He doesn't want to be that person again...]
-i- don't want you there alone ok?
dont pull this lone wolf crap please im begging you ive had enough of it we cant ssurive this place if we dont fucking stick together and i know you don't want to eave what you have there but stayung there and dying over and over again isnt gonna bring them back wither
[He can't bring himself to finish his sentence, but it's not stopping him fro thinking it; Rin isn't alone here. He has his brother, he has people he loves and people who love him back in return, he has a family here.
'reiner wouldnt want you to do this']
ims orry i fucking need him rin you dont understand ive always bee at his side and now hes gone and i dont know what the fuck to do
do you know why we live out here at the mill why we never lived near armin and the others even though they were from the same world even though they were our friends
he wouldnt need other people to pick me back up because hed be right here doing it himself like he always did in the past
the only thing you gotta worry about is the fact that no matter how much you bitch and moan and complain about your crappy relationship with armin i am not going to leave a friend alone when he shouldn't be
[There's no response from Rin. He has a hard enough time driving as it is, he doesn't want to add the risk of attempting to reply to it.
But (with some delay to get down to Southtown to grab that gear he promised to get Armin) he does eventually drive up to the mill, pulling to a stop some distance away on one of the over grown dirt roads.
He slips out of the truck, tugging his sword in it's red case over his shoulder, hand stuffed in the pockets of his open hoodie as he approaches Bert.]
[As Rin approaches, Bertholt reaches up to wipe at his face with his sleeve. He needs to get his emotions under control before he does... well, everything. Before he ruins everything he cherished. If Rin was this stubborn, then he had no choice but to try driving him away by force.]
[He was that stubborn, and more than. Stubborn was what saved his brother from Satanic possession back home. Stubborn was what kept his friends around him even when they were furious at him for lying, and afraid of the power he held.
He's been through ten, twenty times worse than anything Satan and other demons threw at him back in True Cross since arriving here, and what happened with Shiro, with Ichigo, with the clones and even the break out from the hotel recently has certainly dropped him down a few pegs as far as his stupid bravado is concerned but...
He'll never leave a friend who needs him.
Even if that friend has suddenly decided to be just as stubborn back.
He lets out a sigh and shifts the weight on his feet, pulling hands out to hold them up in a shrug and a sigh.]
I really didn't wanna have to do this the hard way but you're forcin' my hand here. I was hopin' if I gave you a bit you'd calm down and remember you're the one who messaged me first but, whatever. If this is what it takes to make sure you're gonna be okay in the end then I got no choice.
[His voice cracks, but he ignores it. He was a warrior. Warriors were supposed to be brave. He just had to pretend this was part of the mission he was sent on back home.]
I didn't contact you thinking you'd... I didn't think it'd come down to this. J-Just because I wanted to be alone doesn't mean I'd let myself die. [And that hurt too - it felt like Rin didn't have any faith in him. That he'd waste away without Reiner and Annie. That he wasn't capable of taking care of himself. Sure, he was blindsided by his clone when he came back and tossed into the swamp, but he survived.] ...What're you going to do?
[He allows Rin to come closer - two, three, three and a half steps and in Bertholt's other hand is a knife. He doesn't brandish it at Rin, oh no. He clamps his other hand around the blade and jerks it across his palm to draw blood--
and everything explodes with a flash of lightning, steam, bone and muscle. Where Bertholt once stood, a skinless, sixty-meter titan is hunched over in his place. He warned you, Rin.]
text
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But after a bit he finally does piece things together and--
Oh.
Oh.]
i know
im sorry
text
[And he really didn't. After he hauled himself back to the mill, he curled up where everyone slept and buried his face in one of Reiner's shirts as if smelling him would bring him back. As if everything was just a bad dream and he'd wake up with his face tucked into Reiner's side.
All he did is cry harder.]
i dont know what the fuck im supposed to do rei|
i dont know what to do rin
text
He hadn't thought to stay and look for Bert...
That Bert had even contacted him at all...
Fuck, the whole situation was so messed up.]
armin is here
at my house with me
i brought him here hes not doing well either but i wasnt gonna let him be alone
i know you two don't |
i know you two arent exactly friends but you shouldn't be alone either
text
[Surprisingly, his reasons don't have anything to do with Armin for once.]
i cant leave home rin its all i have left of them
text
do you relaly think you can stay ther ealone?
[there's actually a break between that message and the next, because he's trying desperately (and uselessly) to keep his own upset in check. He doesn't want to shove Bert away by being angry but lately, outside of his own numbness at the things he's done and witnessed recently, all he can feel is a dull anger at everyone and everything.
He doesn't want to be that person again...]
-i- don't want you there alone ok?
dont pull this lone wolf crap please im begging you ive had enough of it
we cant ssurive this place if we dont fucking stick together and i know you don't want to eave what you have there but stayung there and dying over and over again isnt gonna bring them back wither
reiner wouldnt want you to do this
text
the people you love are still|
[He can't bring himself to finish his sentence, but it's not stopping him fro thinking it; Rin isn't alone here. He has his brother, he has people he loves and people who love him back in return, he has a family here.
'reiner wouldnt want you to do this']
ims orry
i fucking need him rin you dont understand
ive always bee at his side and now hes gone and i dont know what the fuck to do
text
But just like back home he still, by some amazing insane miracle has enough strength in him left to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
All I can do is keep moving forward...]
ive been here since i was fifteen. even if i dont remember a year of it, i still have almost a years worth of memories
that includes people who have been here and left
and yes that includes some one i cared about a whole hell of a lot too
you have to get up
keep moving forward
so when he does come back he won't find you like this
we're friends
reiner was my friend too
i know if you couldn't pick yourself back up hed want a friend to help him do it
text
do you know why we live out here at the mill
why we never lived near armin and the others even though they were from the same world
even though they were our friends
he wouldnt need other people to pick me back up because hed be right here doing it himself like he always did in the past
you dont know me|
text
i did ask
i know he didnt tell me everything but he told me a lot more than i was expecting
things are different here and youre only going to wind up alone and miserable if you dont realize that
you said you didnt know what to do
i do
get your ass over here and quit acting like a fucking baby over bad relationships
if you dont then ill come there myself and drag your ass back to northtown by force if I have to!!!!
Re: text
id really like to see you try that rin. i really would.
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text
im not afraid
text
the only thing you gotta worry about is the fact that no matter how much you bitch and moan and complain about your crappy relationship with armin i am not going to leave a friend alone when he shouldn't be
text
none of those 'crappy' relationships made me want to gut and pull them apart with my bare hands
if you think you can drag me back to northtown on your own, ill be waiting. otherwise im not going anywhere.
text
i'm not leaving you there
[Welp. He had to go get Armin's gear from Southtown anyway.
Time to go haul a titan back with that.]
text
[And with that, he tosses his phone to the side (carefully, so he doesn't break it) so he can go outside and just... wait.
Somewhere away from the mill, because as heartbroken and frustrated as he is he doesn't want the home he shared with Reiner and Annie to get damaged.]
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But (with some delay to get down to Southtown to grab that gear he promised to get Armin) he does eventually drive up to the mill, pulling to a stop some distance away on one of the over grown dirt roads.
He slips out of the truck, tugging his sword in it's red case over his shoulder, hand stuffed in the pockets of his open hoodie as he approaches Bert.]
Well? What's it gonna be?
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...I already gave you my answer, didn't I?
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He's been through ten, twenty times worse than anything Satan and other demons threw at him back in True Cross since arriving here, and what happened with Shiro, with Ichigo, with the clones and even the break out from the hotel recently has certainly dropped him down a few pegs as far as his stupid bravado is concerned but...
He'll never leave a friend who needs him.
Even if that friend has suddenly decided to be just as stubborn back.
He lets out a sigh and shifts the weight on his feet, pulling hands out to hold them up in a shrug and a sigh.]
I really didn't wanna have to do this the hard way but you're forcin' my hand here. I was hopin' if I gave you a bit you'd calm down and remember you're the one who messaged me first but, whatever. If this is what it takes to make sure you're gonna be okay in the end then I got no choice.
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[His voice cracks, but he ignores it. He was a warrior. Warriors were supposed to be brave. He just had to pretend this was part of the mission he was sent on back home.]
I didn't contact you thinking you'd... I didn't think it'd come down to this. J-Just because I wanted to be alone doesn't mean I'd let myself die. [And that hurt too - it felt like Rin didn't have any faith in him. That he'd waste away without Reiner and Annie. That he wasn't capable of taking care of himself. Sure, he was blindsided by his clone when he came back and tossed into the swamp, but he survived.] ...What're you going to do?
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The only thing that ever comes outta bein' alone is bein' miserable. Trust me, I know.
[Even if he hasn't talked about it much, he's made a few allusions to the fact that he didn't have any friends until recently.
He knows what being alone does to someone's mind, especially when they're already in a bad place.]
Y'think you'd be okay now, but it won't stay that way. Like hell I'm gonna let myself be a shitty friend by allowin' that to happen!
[What is he going to do? Well.]
Either talk you in to comin' back with me without a huge mess, or throw you over my damn shoulder and haul your scrawny ass back. Just like I said.
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[As if to emphasize his point he takes a few steps back, but he makes no move to move into a defensive stance.]
...I'm sorry, Rin. I-I really am.
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[Stepping back isn't going to do shit, Bert, because Rin is coming for you right now.
With every intent to throw you over his shoulder, too.]
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and everything explodes with a flash of lightning, steam, bone and muscle. Where Bertholt once stood, a skinless, sixty-meter titan is hunched over in his place. He warned you, Rin.]
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