keepsthefire | IC Contact

i forgot to ask him

Edited (OOPS) 2014-06-06 07:11 (UTC)

[It takes him a little while to puzzle this out. His phone woke him up, he's not exactly running on all pistons and even when he is he's not... the brightest bulb in the Box.

But after a bit he finally does piece things together and--

Oh.

Oh.]

i know

im sorry

i dont know what to do

_{[And he really didn't. After he hauled himself back to the mill, he curled up where everyone slept and buried his face in one of Reiner's shirts as if smelling him would bring him back. As if everything was just a bad dream and he'd wake up with his face tucked into Reiner's side.

All he did is cry harder.]}

i dont know what the fuck im supposed to do rei|

i dont know what to do rin

[Now that Rin knew Bert had been there at all, he felt bad. His attention had been on Armin and Armin alone (though he had seen Reiner's name) and getting him back to the Exorcist House where he didn't have to be alone.

He hadn't thought to stay and look for Bert...

That Bert had even contacted him at all...

Fuck, the whole situation was so messed up.]

armin is here

at my house with me

i brought him here hes not doing well either but i wasnt gonna let him be alone

i know you two don't |

i know you two arent exactly friends but you shouldn't be alone either

i cant.

_{[Surprisingly, his reasons don't have anything to do with Armin for once.]}

i cant leave home rin its all i have left of them

[Well that's... moving forward at least, but still.]

do you relaly think you can stay ther ealone?

[there's actually a break between that message and the next, because he's trying desperately (and uselessly) to keep his own upset in check. He doesn't want to shove Bert away by being angry but lately, outside of his own numbness at the things he's done and witnessed recently, all he can feel is a dull anger at everyone and everything.

He doesn't want to be that person again...]

-i- don't want you there alone ok?

dont pull this lone wolf crap please im begging you ive had enough of it
we cant ssurive this place if we dont fucking stick together and i know you don't want to eave what you have there but stayung there and dying over and over again isnt gonna bring them back wither

reiner wouldnt want you to do this

its easy for you to say rin.

the people you love are still|

_{[He can't bring himself to finish his sentence, but it's not stopping him fro thinking it; Rin isn't alone here. He has his brother, he has people he loves and people who love him back in return, he has a family here.

'reiner wouldnt want you to do this']}

ims orry
i fucking need him rin you dont understand
ive always bee at his side and now hes gone and i dont know what the fuck to do

[He does, but he's lost people just the same. And he lives every damn day fearing that they're going to be the next to go.

But just like back home he still, by some amazing insane miracle has enough strength in him left to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

All I can do is keep moving forward...]

ive been here since i was fifteen. even if i dont remember a year of it, i still have almost a years worth of memories

that includes people who have been here and left

and yes that includes some one i cared about a whole hell of a lot too

you have to get up

keep moving forward

so when he does come back he won't find you like this

we're friends

reiner was my friend too

i know if you couldn't pick yourself back up hed want a friend to help him do it

how well did you really know him rin

do you know why we live out here at the mill
why we never lived near armin and the others even though they were from the same world
even though they were our friends

he wouldnt need other people to pick me back up because hed be right here doing it himself like he always did in the past

you dont know me|

i know more than you realize

i did ask

i know he didnt tell me everything but he told me a lot more than i was expecting

things are different here and youre only going to wind up alone and miserable if you dont realize that

you said you didnt know what to do

i do

get your ass over here and quit acting like a fucking baby over bad relationships

if you dont then ill come there myself and drag your ass back to northtown by force if I have to!!!!

id really like to see you try that rin. i really would.

you really shouldnt underestimate the son of a demon bert

and you shouldnt underestimate a warrior
im not afraid

never said you had to be

the only thing you gotta worry about is the fact that no matter how much you bitch and moan and complain about your crappy relationship with armin i am not going to leave a friend alone when he shouldn't be

ive had crappy relationships with friends before rin
none of those 'crappy' relationships made me want to gut and pull them apart with my bare hands

if you think you can drag me back to northtown on your own, ill be waiting. otherwise im not going anywhere.

whatever

i'm not leaving you there

[Welp. He had to go get Armin's gear from Southtown anyway.

Time to go haul a titan back with that.]

dont say i didnt warn you.

_{[And with that, he tosses his phone to the side (carefully, so he doesn't break it) so he can go outside and just... wait.

Somewhere away from the mill, because as heartbroken and frustrated as he is he doesn't want the home he shared with Reiner and Annie to get damaged.]}

[There's no response from Rin. He has a hard enough time driving as it is, he doesn't want to add the risk of attempting to reply to it.

But (with some delay to get down to Southtown to grab that gear he promised to get Armin) he does eventually drive up to the mill, pulling to a stop some distance away on one of the over grown dirt roads.

He slips out of the truck, tugging his sword in it's red case over his shoulder, hand stuffed in the pockets of his open hoodie as he approaches Bert.]

Well? What's it gonna be?

_{[As Rin approaches, Bertholt reaches up to wipe at his face with his sleeve. He needs to get his emotions under control before he does... well, everything. Before he ruins everything he cherished. If Rin was this stubborn, then he had no choice but to try driving him away by force.]}

...I already gave you my answer, didn't I?

[He was that stubborn, and more than. Stubborn was what saved his brother from Satanic possession back home. Stubborn was what kept his friends around him even when they were furious at him for lying, and afraid of the power he held.

He's been through ten, twenty times worse than anything Satan and other demons threw at him back in True Cross since arriving here, and what happened with Shiro, with Ichigo, with the clones and even the break out from the hotel recently has certainly dropped him down a few pegs as far as his stupid bravado is concerned but...

He'll never leave a friend who needs him.

Even if that friend has suddenly decided to be just as stubborn back.

He lets out a sigh and shifts the weight on his feet, pulling hands out to hold them up in a shrug and a sigh.]

I really didn't wanna have to do this the hard way but you're forcin' my hand here. I was hopin' if I gave you a bit you'd calm down and remember you're the one who messaged me first but, whatever. If this is what it takes to make sure you're gonna be okay in the end then I got no choice.

I-I know I did.

_{[His voice cracks, but he ignores it. He was a warrior. Warriors were supposed to be brave. He just had to pretend this was part of the mission he was sent on back home.]}

I didn't contact you thinking you'd... I didn't think it'd come down to this. J-Just because I wanted to be alone doesn't mean I'd let myself die. _{[And that hurt too - it felt like Rin didn't have any faith in him. That he'd waste away without Reiner and Annie. That he wasn't capable of taking care of himself. Sure, he was blindsided by his clone when he came back and tossed into the swamp, but he survived.]} ...What're you going to do?

[Rin shakes his head at that, folding arms over his chest.]

The only thing that ever comes outta bein' alone is bein' miserable. Trust me, I know.

[Even if he hasn't talked about it much, he's made a few allusions to the fact that he didn't have any friends until recently.

He knows what being alone does to someone's mind, especially when they're already in a bad place.]

Y'think you'd be okay now, but it won't stay that way. Like hell I'm gonna let myself be a shitty friend by allowin' that to happen!

[What is he going to do? Well.]

Either talk you in to comin' back with me without a huge mess, or throw you over my damn shoulder and haul your scrawny ass back. Just like I said.

If trying to talk me into it over the phone didn't work, why would it work in person?

_{[As if to emphasize his point he takes a few steps back, but he makes no move to move into a defensive stance.]}

...I'm sorry, Rin. I-I really am.

In person I can actually make good on that threat.

[Stepping back isn't going to do shit, Bert, because Rin is coming for you right now.

With every intent to throw you over his shoulder, too.]

_{[He allows Rin to come closer - two, three, three and a half steps and in Bertholt's other hand is a knife. He doesn't brandish it at Rin, oh no. He clamps his other hand around the blade and jerks it across his palm to draw blood--

and everything explodes with a flash of lightning, steam, bone and muscle. Where Bertholt once stood, a skinless, sixty-meter titan is hunched over in his place. He warned you, Rin.]}

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